压力

开始我的职业生涯了


选的是人人择而避之的保险行业


但我深信只要努力，


一定会有成果。


但，对于这行业，


人们心理都会产生抗拒心理，甚至看小我


所以我遇到的挫折也很大


但，始终还是会有些真心朋友给我鼓励，支持。


他们相信我，也让我更有动力走下去。


但，现阶段的我有必要铲除现有的障碍，


我要走得稳，所以，我相信现阶段的考验我一定能过关


谢谢那些相信我的朋友，也谢谢那些拒绝我的人


我的成长之路，各各都是我贵人。


加油啦 ，死 kayu !

结束。开始

我在这宿舍只剩下 3 小时的时间就要离开了。

不知为什么这么的很伤感，

真的没后悔来过，

真的。。很开心，很开心。。

现在也是时候开始我长达 一个多月的欧洲之旅了，

希望一切顺利，

再见了，宿舍！

今天

牛一和最后一堂课都落在同一天，

希望大家快乐.

一个月半

在这里已经一个月半了，


为什么， 有些东西还未变呢？


这里的空气好新鲜，好舒服。。。  

Liverpool Street..  ^_^

想念

大银 ，


很久没见了，


希望你的新主人没对你不好


很想念你。。真的 。。。


没忘记过你呢。。


你真的带给我太多回忆了


我能站在这片新土地上，你都算居功不少吧


我这里大约10 度， 你那边还是很酷热吧。。


好想念你啊。。。。


谢谢你又帮了我家人一次，在这艰难的时刻。。


但同时又让我想起你带给我的回忆。。。


好想念想念你，


希望你，一切，安康。。

Miss that life....

Suddenly..

i feel like want to recall some of my memories..ahhh..

damn miss those time that i spent on dancing and basketball

i just cant say no to basketball even I need to play under the hot sun and during that time i was burned by the hot sun until I looked like a Malay, ermm...a leng zai Malay ,perhaps. xD

The "Slam Dunk" comic had successfully brought me to the world of basketball since i was still in primary school, but wtf, i played it for so many years but i still cant grow taller ..wat a sad case o0o

Until form 5,  i watched a video clip, a Breakdance Video clip, which inspired me to learn breakdance immediately.

I started to find the related info and video clip, to learn it by myself, and at the end i joined a big group of my friends ,I also called it as a Big Family.

During that time, all the topic that we were talking about just about dancing, which movement is more yeng and bla bla , use lots of rude words as our adjective to describe how tough are those movements.

That I just like crazy for the dancing stuff , and, that was a very nice memory, until i joined Tarc and so lucky been chosen as TT finalist, my dancing life keep going until most of the friends are working, less contact.

However, the helmet for Headspin I still always keep it in my car, I wonder when can I wear it back again and continue my dance life , although I'm not really good in that, but, i just like the way to sweat, and challenge myself.

Miss those time i can sweat like a dog, Miss those time i got a big family...

And I think, the hot blood of dancing and basketball still always in my heart, lets see when it explodes. xD

Next Step

下一步，


会是怎样的呢？


期待着。。。






值得开心的是，几天前的担忧，


已解决了。


接下来，


是我生命中的另一段小插曲。


我相信它不会对我人生有着很大影响，


但，希望它是一段很有意义的时光。


引颈盼望着。


自己要对自己的决定负责，


之后的事我相信不易解决，


但， 我都熬过了这么多，


相信这个我也可以应付，


只要之后这关击不倒我，我就会变得更强。


If this cant defeat me, It will only make me stronger.


拭目以待。。。

3 more days

3 more days, I think my life might change, slightly or tremendously .


3 more days, I will know what I need exactly in my life.


3 more days, I might have all new thinking, or remain the same decision like what I've made few months ago.


3 more days, I will know that I need to implement the plan that I've made few months ago or just forget about it.


3 more days, I have to face these all shits myself, alone.


3 more days ,I wont be so tension condition like now anymore, I guess.


3 more days, I might be more stress than ever before, I hope not.


3 more days, The day seems like so unpredictable, make me feel insecure till max.


3 more days, I would have a very deep breath before I get to know the end result.


3 more days, I might give myself a big hug or I'm going to hate myself for at least 1 year.


3 more days, I need to decide how my future going to be.


3 more days, I believe I still cant let go.


3 more days, I would go somewhere that can make myself relax.


3 more days, I might just can hide myself in the pillow and start to regret.


3 more days, It is so far to me, it seems like 3 more years.


3 more days, I hope I can reward myself a bowl of SNOWFLAKES, or CHESSY WEDGES.


3 more days,  3 more days , 3 more days..


No matter how the end result is going to be, 


I'll never give up, Never, and Never.


Just because I don't feel like wanna give up, or quit.


Just because I gotta be stronger than before.


So..


Let's see what would happen after 3 days...

迷惘

我是做错了吗？


我知道自己在做着什么吗？


我到底怎么了？


我变了吗？


我怎么连看我自己都有陌生的感觉？


我的想法，看法，都变了


好事？坏事？


没人能定义那是好还是坏，是看不同人的看法。


一位朋友说我对事情看得很开了，


是真地看得开还是假的？


我自己也不知道。


但直少现在我的观念是如此，虽然变化有点大


我知道我自己在做什么，我是如此的坚信着。。


你可以不认同，但我不会强逼你去接受，


但也希望不要过分干涉，可以支持，或一起讨论最好。


我很想珍惜每一天，很想很想。。


需要更多动力，但还在寻找中。


我过分高估我自己了，


以为能跨过，原来还在原地踏步。


没关系，再给自己多些时间，


但，我很恨自己为什么那么久了还没跨过去。。


我觉得还没跨过去的每一分钟每一秒，那生活都是不够完整的，浪费我的时间。


但我又不能做些什么，


没办法，


人生就是按呢款的了，充满无奈


我只好加把劲了，


加油加油！


还有，


对不起。

很伤心的一天

今天我很伤心，

小车祸，

破财 ，

丢了工作，

了不到我的心愿，

情绪好差，

却无从发泄，

没人聆听，

没人了解，

学会独立然后自己承受，

原来不是想象中那么简单，

我好累，

好辛苦。。

再，加油吧。。。

haizzz

肚兰

看了读了，

觉得很有道理，

需要把那些内容消化，

化为己用。

虽然，

明不明白是一回事，应不应用得到在自己生活上又是另一回事。

妈的，

有点 du lan 自己了...cbbbb....

迎新送旧

小小白 ： 11 / 2008   ---   2 / 2011

小小白，

你也是刚好陪我走了 2 年3 个月，

里面装载着满满的回忆 ，

但是你越来越老了， 行动慢，时常当机带麻烦给我。

想了很久，里面的照片信息我也不想洗掉，就让它长眠吧。

实行眼不见为净，把你给换了吧。

但其实还是很不舍得下的，毕竟你陪了我这么久，

但，算了吧，继续用我也是不好受，

就尝试看新的，也当是对我自己好点。

因为我很久没有买些东西稿赏我自己了，

所以就在计划了 2 个月后狠心的买了架新电话了~

买了后都几  pokai 下的 ，

加上要还很多之前累计的一些上网，电话帐单，

新年红包钱都挖得 7788 了。。。

要努力找工来 cover 了。。

 * 再见了，小小白 *

2 月 14 日

2 月 14 情人节，


没情人的我就打算在家做宅男就好。。


但是，

兄弟的女朋友竟然想到我一个人过这个日子会很可怜，所以提议一起庆祝。T___T

我其实都不觉得自己过有问题 ，但给他们酱做一嚄我都觉得我自己可怜酱了.. -__-"

但其实能有酱子的机会一堆死党带埋他们的女友去玩是蛮难得下的。

所以我很兴奋地期待那天的到临。

只是这次因为我的关系，所以人数是单位数。

但因其中一位死党在他有女友之前被我不停奚落过，

所以他成功的有了这次的机会报复 9 9 给我，

马的。。现世报？！  但是他说他很手下留情了 wor..

凌晨，全部都 喝到mabuk 或累到跑去睡了，

只剩下我一个还精力旺盛得四处打扰不给他们睡觉。

Lap Sap Kia No.1

Lap Sap Kia No.2

精神恍惚的人们准备去吃早餐

这家伙本身吃相就很差再加上早餐出奇的难吃，所以形成他如同正在食屎的画面。
恶心程度　：　５　颗星

幸运的我牺牲了一整天不睡也成功让他们睡不到或睡不好。。

很有满足感，但之后也真的累到在泳池旁睡了下去。。。

这个trip 我都不停挥洒 “舞棍阿伯”  的成名曲和得意舞蹈。。

也成功俘虏了他们的心到舞棍阿伯那边了。。。

第一次和死党们玩真心话大冒险，但还觉得玩得不够刺激，下次再玩更够力的。

虽然我不介意在家中独自过这个暂时对我没意义的日子

但，我觉得，

有了这班　siao kia 们的陪伴，

时间可以过得更快，轻松。

Coming Soon..

Coming Soon....

累

累。。。

很累一下。。。

无能为力。。

累到喝 Red Bull + Tongkat Ali 也帮不了。。

好累。。。

但不能倒啊。。。

再多一些些。。

多一些些 please。。。

撑起来啊 。。。

因为， 根本没有倒下去的理由。。

会倒下去的就不是我了。。。

我是宇宙最强啊。。。

Balik Kampung

1/2/2011 ,5pm

As usual, by this time I should drive all the way back to my dad's hometown - Johor , and reach at around 8pm then meet with my lovely grandpa and other relatives which only can meet once in a year.

BUT ....

Yes...my hometown area now is flooding.. omfg...how could this happened during Chinese New Year ah..

Totally jip sao mm dou loh ! Now my grandpa all move to my aunty's house which not in the flooding area.

So,  at this time, I'm still in Kuala Lumpur and maybe need to wait 1 or 2 more days only can go back and celebrate Chinese New Year.

I think we gotta spend at least 1 day to clean up the the dirty shits all around the floor loh..sibeh geli 1 . According to past experiences, I'm very sure that is a tiring job for everyone ... T___T

Luckily didn't back on today, because my mom just realized that my BIG BLACK's road tax EXPIRED jor ! wtf , expired date : 2 January , i totally didn't notice that at all , and keep driving daily go here go there..

But as I remember, I've been kena few road blocks in January geh wor...and since that time I still don know the road tax is expired so my facial expressions were always DAM DENG and got eye contact with those so called policeman geh dog.. Now I really feel dou I sibeh lucky lah when I think back those experiences..

So hope tomorrow I can back to my hometown lah, and hope all my friends enjoy during Chinese New Year 2011, eat without limit and all become fat ass ok..

~~Happy Chinese New Year 2011~~

The Moment

We should appreciate every single moment that happened in our life..


Finally i found somewhere that I can write whatever I want or some personal feelings .


I think, that is a secret place without noticed by others


so,


start from now,


 I can always write down some thoughts that suddenly POP OUT from my mind immediately over there


It's good for me, because I prefer type it out, and that become a platform for me to do so .


I need that platform to express my feeling so bad, because I have nobody can talk, and I don't think it is necessary to tell your friends about your deep feelings.


Recently, I realized that, no one is interested in your own story or your deep feelings, it is useless to tell other people about that. So better keep it in your heart, or find some ways to stress it out.


I appreciate all the moments in my life, because all the memories are so so so  unforgettable and meaningful. 


However, Life is different from DVD player. Life can't be fast forwarded or reverse back, every single moment that happened in our life is so unique and irreplaceable. 


I'll try not to miss those old time, but look forward.


It is a challenge for me, since my personalities are sort of stubborn type, but I gotta cope with it also.


That's it.